A Journey in Uncertainty

On December 24^th 2003 (yes, Christmas Eve), my life was forever changed when I was completely blindsighted by a diagnosis of leukemia. This day brought to the surface my passion for growth and personal development – for I had many questions to answer.

I began my journey reading numerous books and listening to audio tapes on health, healing and the mind. I took my time off from work to consider how I wanted my life to look. More important than anything else, I had a wonderful opportunity to take a look at what was really important to me in my life. For the first time I could ask and really relate to the question – If my life were to end tomorrow, how would I want to spend today? This is a rich question we can all benefit from by answering, however it takes discipline to answer it truthfully. The farther I find myself from that Christmas Eve, the more difficult it is for me to really engage in the question (but it can be done).

As I began this journey to answer some of the many questions that I had, there came a point that I discovered that no matter how many I was able to answer, new ones would always arise. And the questions that had the real meat on them (like they why’s and the when’s) I inherently knew were outside the reach of my comprehension. Gradually I began to realize that the process on self betterment was not one of understanding the answers to the questions, but recognizing that questions will always exist and our capacity to thrive amidst the uncertainty of life defines our potential to live life to the fullest.

Being Comfortable with Uncertainty

Simply put, we live in an uncertain world that is in a constant state of flux. As human beings we like to maintain the illusion that we are in ‘control’. And that illusion gives us a sense of security that life tomorrow will maintain the same comforts that we enjoy in life today. Isn’t it difficult to imagine that all we have worked for our entire life could be taken away tomorrow? All of our material possessions gone, the things we love dissappear, our ‘comforts’ taken away?

The truth is that we are all just a phone call, an accident, a diagnosis, a stock market crash, a disruption from ‘normalcy’ away from our lifes being significantly altered. We can take precautions that can reduce our risk of these events happening (like diversifying a stock portfolio, buying insurance or exercising regularly) such that the likelihood becomes less, however the fact is that there is no such thing as being in control of life. Life will happen, we will age, and we need to accept that uncertainty is part of living on this planet.

While we need to accept it (because it is truth), we do not necessarily have to be comfortable with it. That is the choice that you must make for yourself. What would life look like for you if your most treasured possessions, your relationships, or your health were stripped from you? Answer this truthfully. Aside from healthy grieving, would you see all of the beauties that life still offers you? How would the loss of what is dearest to you change your life?

The answers to these questions give you a sense to how comfortable you are with uncertainty. As your comfort increases so does your capacity to see opportunity in the world, and to flow with the ever changing landscape of our lives. This breeds both financial and personal well-being.

What is Certain? What can we control?

Now that I’ve dismissed the concept of certainty in our lives, there are a few things that we can control, and are 100% certain of. Its important that we know these.

Certainties

#1 – The physical world is in constant flux. Change is a certain (or uncertainty is certain!).

#2 – We own our being and control our conscious thoughts

#3 – Our perception belongs to us and defines the world we see

#1 Uncertainty is Certain

Firstly we do know that life in the physical world (the world which our physical body exists in) is uncertain. This is very empowering as it gives us the comfort of knowing that change will come! Good change, bad change, big changes, small changes, life impacting change, mundane change – change happens each and every day. With change comes opportunity. Financial, personal, spiritual, physical opportunities. We know life is uncertain we can embrace this or push against this. When we push against change, its like swimming against a current, there is a natural flow that is occurring and we have the choice to take advantage of the current or to carve our own more difficult path that struggles against it.

#2 – We own our being and control our conscious thoughts

We are in complete ownership of our mind, spirit and patterns of thinking. In a physical world I may not even be in ownership of the specific movements of my body, however the mind/spirit is an element that everyone has complete control over. Our past experiences do their part to shape our thoughts, our beliefs, our ways of thinking, however they do not need to control our being (ie: being in a good or bad mood). Those past thoughts do not define what our future thoughts will be. We have an unprecedented ability to empower the thoughts we choose. The question is what thoughts do we wish to empower and choose. It may be easier to think the same thought you had yesterday today (and in fact its a truth in neuroscience that our thought patterns travel more easily through neurosynaptic pathways previously carved in the brain), however it is absolutely possible to think differently should you choose!

#3 – Our perception belongs to us and defines the world we see

One could argue that each of us lives in a different world. We see things differently, have different perspectives, so much so that we’ve all caught ourselves thinking ‘geez, was I in the same place as this other person because they describe it so differently!’. Lets see if this makes some sense through example:

• My friend and I watch a comedy. I think its hilarious and my friend thinks its just stupid. The physical event of that movie created a completely different experience for the two of us even though we were pretty much presented the exact same situation (temperature of the theater, lighting, same movie…)

• Think back to when you were a child. I remember how big the baseball field I used to play on was. Now it seems so small! I am the same person, its the same field, and even so its not the same experience.

Its an interesting discussion as one may wonder if any two people have the same perception. Given that even myself has a different perception of the same world at different points in life. This is evidence of change not only in the outside world but also within ourselves!

Our mind (brain, spirit, etc – I don’t claim to know which part of us it is) has an incredible ability to perceive the world that we are in. That perception is yours to own, and no one else can choose your perception.

How do I become Comfortable?

You’ll notice that the topic is ‘Being comfortable with uncertainty’, not ‘Making life certain’ or ‘How to reduce uncertainty’. Its possible to reduce risk, but not uncertainty. Certainty by definition means ‘destined’, ’sure to happen’, ‘undisputable’ or ‘unquestionable’ – and there are very few things in the physical world that can claim certainty. Knowing these three truths should provide some comfort. As a species of habbit, we like reliability, and here are three footholds that are everlastingly reliable.

Becoming comfortable with uncertainty – even regarding topics as big as our own deaths, or the potential death of a loved one is no small task. Ultimately its a decision that each and every one of us has to make. One process you can go through to become comfortable with uncertainty is to write out on paper ‘what is the worst thing that could happen to me’? Embrace that. In writing it down, is the anticipation of the uncertainty worse than the worst case scenario? What are your options should that occur? What are the possibilities? What good might come out of this situation? Answering the questions such as these provide a continual feedback loop searching for opportunity in uncertainty and can bring a sense of comfort and even joy to what might seem to be a frightening situation. I greatly appreciate any comments you would like to leave on this topic!

Be well

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Written by Doug Nau, The Wellness Coach, i-grow.net