Its an ugly situation.  Despite noble intentions you can’t stop lying.  Furthermore, the lying isn’t deliberate or malicious, its founded on good intention.  The lying is is to no one other than yourself.  It comes from a hope that life could be different, from a desire to change, from the shallow and fragile self concept that has been told what it wants for so long now that its hard to differentiate that voice from your true self. 

I’ve heard it all too often.  I want to get healthy.  I want to lose weight.  I want to worry less.  I want to reduce stress.  I want to exercise more.  I don’t want to end up like my mother.  Yet despite the attempts we make at changing our lifestyles, we revert back to previous habits.  And the lie we tell to ourselves isn’t the underlying desire to make change, clearly that is there.  In fact, that underlying desire to change can act as a low grade tension which constantly erodes our overall well-being.  The lie we tell ourselves is that we really want to do something about it!  Accept the reality that you are just poisoning your life by setting goals you continually fail to achieve.  You’ll be better off for letting it go and refocusing your energy on more interesting thoughts.

Is this the fate I must accept?  Do I need to give up?  Yes – but not in the way you might be thinking. 

How to turn your life around

You’ve told yourself over and over that you need to do something different.  That you have to change.  That you really should do as your doctor told you.  Do any of these sound like things you ‘want to’ do?  There is a difference, and that difference is significant.  Its the difference between long term success and short term failures.  Notice the verbiage and understand what it means. To do this, you must first be in touch with who you truly are.

In the past its likely that you’ve connected with the mindstuff that tells you to be well.  You’ve thought through plans, you’ve analyzed potential outcomes, you’ve intellectualized the process – but you haven’t connected with it.  Sure, you may have had some small successes that have brought about short term gains, and you probably felt great with these gains, but if you are reading this article you have not been able to keep it up.  Other things are just more important.  You haven’t connected with your vision in a heartfelt manner.  Your thoughts, however, are well formed on the topic. 

We are not our thoughts

To create long term lifestyle change you must realize that we are not our thoughts.  If you’ve been thinking about what you can do, its not inherently a bad thing as it may give a glimpse at what lies under the surface, but if you haven’t felt the love and passion for what you are thinking about, its a losing effort.  At best you could design a plan, go through the motions, and lifelessly execute the planning’s of an entity which is clearly not your true self.  What do I mean by this?  Identification with thought provides a false sense of self.  Some call it the ego.  The ego, while it serves a purpose of protecting the self concept, can hide what truly matters.  Recognize the thoughts that go through your head.  The struggle, the worry, the self talk, the self pity and immerse yourself in it.  Allow yourself to experience it for what it is.  The reality is that it is truly nothing.  Mechanically, its the firing of neurons in your brain causing thought.  Recognize that any time a thought goes through our consciousness, it carves a literal pathway in our brains, making it easier to re-think that thought again.  Imagine all the pathways carved our in our brains supporting you in thinking more of the same.  This is what we all get caught up in all too often. 

Living life as who we are

As a starting point, accept that you are not your thoughts, and in this moment, the future is wide open.  Its not tied to the limitations of the past, the potential is boundless.  Now, the key is to live a life in true accord with who you are.  To do so, as I previously noted, you must give up.  Give up the thoughts and preconceptions of how life should look.  Become at one with what you know and want (in your soul, not your mind).  This will provide you with a clear path forward.  How can I become clear?  Ask yourself the following questions.

1. What really matters to me?  (feel it don’t think it)
2. What am I lying about to myself regarding what really matters to me?  Again – What really matters to me?
3. Bullshit – you are still lying.  Dig deeper.  What really matters to me?

Do you think the profanity is out of line?  If it hits you in the gut, there’s a reason for it.  Because it resonates – ask yourself the question – what really matters to me? 

What you’ll notice in going through this process is that a connection with the soul is much stronger than a connection with the mind.  Connecting with the soul will bring about glimpses into your intuition. What you hear from this process will be unique to you, the response will be calm, it will not be clouded by frantic thought, and it will provide lasting results.  What you must learn to do is to listen to this voice of wisdom, choose to embrace your wisdom and decide to call upon it frequently to keep the course.  As soon as you become connected with your thought forms, you allow an imposter to guide you into the life it wants.

Be Well

Related Articles:

• Living in Balance – How to Consciously Shift from Stress to Success
• Letting Go of the Ego
• How do I change my life?
• Help – I’m Stuck!
• Exercise Your Soul
• Conquering Monkey Mind
• Striving But Never Arriving – Creating Long Term Goals