This isn’t It – What’s your Basic Assumption?

By dougnau on Jun 19, 2009 in Consciousness, Life Coaching, Personal Growth

Several years ago, when I enrolled in and completed my life coach certification program, Maria Nemeth guided us in searching deep within ourselves to determine our core beliefs which thwarted us from becoming all that we wanted in life. At the root of the mind lies what she coined a ‘basic assumption’. This presents itself as our personal nemesis, a roadblock in life from where frustration, lack of true fulfillment, and unease are all generated.

Your Basic Assumption

Without a guide to walk you through feeling (and more importantly ‘seeing’) what your basic assumption is, it will not be possible to type yourself, as you could with a Myers-Briggs or enneagram test. This article will, however, raise your awareness that such a personal holdback exists and demonstrate how seeing it clearly for yourself is like opening your eyes to an undiscovered world. If you’d like to determine your basic assumption I highly recommend participating in The Academy for Coaching Excellence, Mastering Life’s Energies class held throughout the country and across the world.

Background

Maria explains the basic assumption as a thought pattern that subconsciously arises early in childhood that everyone has and we each hold onto. If you never see it for yourself, you let it run steadily in the background, unconscious to how it is holding you back in life.

The basic assumptions all fall in the categories we so commonly know of when one is confronted with a conflict situation – Fight, Flight, or Freeze. And while I won’t elaborate on all of the subcategories that are proprietary to the work the Academy for Coaching Excellence performs, I will talk to you about my basic assumption, how it affects my life, and how uncovering it has opened a new window of consciousness that I live by daily. This same assumption may operate in your life.

With approximately a dozen ‘basic assumptions’ out there, there’s about a 10% likelihood that you would fall into this category as well. Even if its not your core belief, it may hit close to your heart. I suggest you read the dialog presented here and if you feel like it resonates, look and see how this enlightenment can change your life.

My Basic Assumption – This Isn’t It (is it your’s too?)

I recall the question - ‘this isn’t it, isn’t it, is it?” Initially I thought ‘what!’, but after taking a few days settling into determining what ‘this isn’t it’ actually means to me, the question made perfect sense.

For someone who’s life is operated by the basic assumption of this isn’t it, nothing is quite good enough. You strive and strive for more and while you may be pleased with your accomplishments in life, right now just isn’t exactly it. It isn’t quite what its supposed to be. The job, the family, the boyfriend/girlfriend, the finances, the weather, the car, the home (you get the idea). I recall spending hours upon hours in the garden, manicuring it to a point of beauty and all I could focus on was the handful of weeds spread through the quarter acre yard. In my previous unconsciousness, I’d be compelled to get up and pull them rather than to enjoy the beauty of what was present. No matter how good it was, it wasn’t quite it.

When asked – this isn’t it, isn’t it, is it?, a paradox is brought up. If in your mind you operate under an assumption that this isn’t it, then it is extremely difficult to grasp the concept that this is your basic assumption! By default you believe that the assumption isn’t it, yet feel odd when the other potential assumptions don’t resonate. Its an eye opening process.

Other ways This Isn’t It Shows Up

For me, this isn’t it shows up in a variety of forms. When I graduated from my MBA in 2003. Going through the ceremony, experiencing the process, and celebrating the accomplishment didn’t feel right. Almost as if it were all a big let down. My mind was thinking – what next. Before my wife and I made the commitment to spend our lives together, I had many doubts, not because of her, but because I was operating under the assumption that this isn’t it.

When I make decisions, (particularly regarding spending money) no matter how small or large, I analyze. I do everything in my capacity to make the right decision before moving forward. Why? Because what I am thinking of doing may not be it. For example, should I spend the money to add a community feature to this website – that may not be it? In general, the smaller stuff doesn’t bother me as much as my tendency to have a low grade uncertainty about the direction life is headed. For me, that is the pain of this isn’t it.

How to Overcome Your Basic Assumption

The beauty of seeing your basic assumption is that overcoming your basic assumption is simply a process of being conscious of the fact that you have one, and knowing what it is. Knowing my dark side, knowing that I am just wired to feel that this isn’t it, is all that is needed to overcome it. Its like a fish jumping out of water – realizing for the first time that there is something such as water that exists! Your world is expanded.

Today, when I question my work, I wonder about where I live, and only see the weeds that are not pulled in the beautiful garden, I step back, ask myself if I am being present, or just operating habitualistically under the assumption that this isn’t it - which is always the case. And this brings peace as I now know that no matter what the circumstance, and independent of how I feel, that this moment is always it and its all we’ve truly got.

Ask yourself – do I operate unconsciously under this assumption and how knowing this can change your life.

Be Well