For about half of my life (the last 17 years), I’ve maintained a journal consisting of the big events and daily monotony of whatever was going on at that time.  At some points in time I’ve been more diligent than others at writing, but since I was 18 years old, I’ve filled at least a dozen books with my thoughts, my excitements, frustrations and experiences.  No one’s ever read them, and quite frankly I myself only browse through these once in a blue moon. That being said, there was a period in life four years ago that I made a very conscious and deliberate choice to read through each of these journals and pull out the strongest themes and messages.  It was my own personal strategy for getting to know myself better.  Now that I’ve gone through years of coach training, I recognize the essence of being a coach was already founded in the notes that I took over that month of reading and note taking and half a lifetime of journaling I had been doing.  Here are the rules to live by which were most prominently discussed throughout my writings (condensed from about 2000 pages).

• Every Day is Exceptional
• Be open and express yourself, Emotions are not to be bottled up
• Have a free spirit
• Have a dream and establish goals
• Be a winner as you strive to win the game
• Always give of yourself

Every Day is Exceptional

In this blog entry I am going to review the first theme.  Every Day is Exceptional.  One of the things that journaling forces you to do is to become conscious of what is going on right now.  Something happens each and every day.  Sometimes its small, like going to work and catching a smile on a face you hadn’t seen before, and sometimes its big – like making the sale you’ve worked on or 6 months.  Whatever kind of events fill the day, living life today is exceptional.  In order to keep life exceptional first remind yourself that it is!  Here are some of the strategies I discovered in my writing that help me to keep each and every day in perspective.

1. Slow down.  If you’re like me, you’ve got an incessant need to do, do, do.  Even sitting to write this article today took some effort just for me to SLOW DOWN.  Its not always about being productive, its also about being.  Figure out a way to be conscious and to enjoy what’s here in each and every moment (I watch the palm tree sway in front of my window as I write this lawn – ahhh)
2. Breathe every moment in. To dovetail on #1 above, breathing is centering and pulls us into the moment.  Make breathing consciously a regular practice.  Its something that can be done consistently wherever you are and may be the exceptional moment you look forward to each day!
3. Work towards your passion.  I was able to make the shift 5 years ago from the software industry to Wellness Coaching.  To be real with you, that was a leap of faith.  But it was a leap of faith that has brought tremendous happiness and health into my life.  It was interesting for me to read through my years of working in an unfulfilling position and recognize how important this was for me BEFORE switching careers.  Work towards your passion, give it everything you’ve got and the rest will fall in place
4. Work is not the purpose of life.  For those of you (as I found myself years ago) that are working in an unfulfilling position, that are putting in so many hours that there’s no more time in the day, and you are strapped to a blackberry, pager, or cell phone, you may have missed the point.  Unless you love what you do with a passion (then there truly is no ‘work’), then work is not your life’s purpose – though you may be acting as if it is.  Even if your work is your passion, there is room for more purpose in life.  Family, relationships, enjoyment, enculturation, and personal growth are some ideas that come to mind.
5. Never sacrifice sleep and health.  Sleep and health are two things we can never recover.  Sure, we can catch up on a couple days of rough sleep, but years of depriving oneself by getting 4-5 hours per night, fueled by power naps and coffee in the day is no way to treat your body right.  Your health should be your top priority above all else because most everything relies on your health in order to function optimally.  I learned this the hard way.  Make your day exceptional by getting good rest, giving your body good fuel, by working your muscles and heart, and respecting that we evolved living in conditions much different than today.  Go back to your roots and simply listen to your body.
6. Live a little.  When I was 18, my daredevil new friend at college once told me to live a little.  He saw I was a bit uptight, hesitant to do some of the ‘wild’ things he was doing and challenged me to move beyond my comfort zone in more ways than one. I became a real fan of the phrase ‘Carpe Diem’ – seize the day.  Every day has opportunity built into it, the question is what we do with that opportunity.  Want a new job?  Its as easy as preparing your resume and browsing the internet.  Want a new relationship?  Go out and start talking to new people.  Want to more money?  Create a plan to build your financial empire.  We pass up hundreds of opportunities to do something new every day.  Why?  Because we are comfortable and we’ve stopped looking.  If you’re sick of it - ‘live a little’. 

I know that reviewing my diaries four years ago really helped me to create my own personal mission, to see clearly for myself who I was on the inside, and to prioritize what really mattered to me in life.  If you live by the principles listed above, you’ll begin to feel that every day truly is exceptional and you’ll see the role you’ve got in creating that reality. 

Be Well

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• Developing the Vision
• Writing your Personal Mission Statement
• Use Visualization to Get Healthy, Get a Promotion, Balance Life and Make Money!

Written by Doug Nau, The Wellness Coach, i-grow.net

Amazingly, and unfortunately not by design, its been just over 3 full months since my last blog post.  As always, life is a journey, and there are learnings to be had in every situation.  I’ve got no excuses for letting my posts slip, the fact of the matter is that other items have simply been higher on my life priority list.  Action is a determination of our true motivations.  Its been a conscious decision to put down the laptop and let the rest of life happen.  Its all part of the juggle of life.

Living in Harmony

James Arthur Ray (the personal growth guru that is under a lot of scrutiny right now for a couple of deaths that happened at one of his camps/seminars), wrote a book about harmonic wealth.  A premise of his discussion was that life is not always balanced and that we should instead try to approach life like a symphonic harmony.  Some notes become strong, others fade out, a new instrument comes into play, and the song is made beautiful by these variations.  He equates this to certain actions coming in and out of the mix in our life.

Even when thinking about harmonic living, there are some pieces of a melody which should always be present.  My model of whole person wellness provides the instruments which should be present to some degree for every life composition.  We may not always rate ourselves a ‘perfect 10’ in each of these categories, but if we underperform in any of these for a sustained amount of time, we’re setting ourselves up for trouble.

• Health
• Physical
• Emotional
• Spiritual
• Mental/Brain
• Relationships
• Career
• Money
• Enjoyment
• Personal Growth

In terms of the model above, I’ve let this aspect of my career (website) take a step backward while focusing on others.  Blogging also provides me with enjoyment and personal growth opportunities – though once again, I’ve been fostering these aspects of wellness via other means.  At the same time, my love for writing and sharing this message is as strong as ever – so this moment right now is an opportunity for me to re-evaluate the choices I’ve been making with my time and commit to once again developing this website. The message, always look forward and use the past as a learning opportunity.

What happens when we let our dreams go?

Isn’t it amazing how life happens?  In my case I bought a new home in December (a lot of projects), my day job just went through the busy season completing a series of program enrollment cycles, and I took on a project training wellness coaches and helping to implement a program that started in Mid January in Colorado.  I am committed to being a present father to my two young children and amidst all these happenings, working on the website has taken a back seat.

Does this sound familiar?  How do we let our dreams slip away?

For me, the answer to the question above is our state of consciousness.  Its very easy to get ‘busy’ and live unconsciously.  I’ve done this many times in the past; particularly when working with a software company in the silicon valley.  Work and life demands have a way of taking control if you are unconscious.  You know you are unconscious when you look back at the last week, month, year or even decade and think ‘how much life did I live on my own terms?’ Something else took over.  You probably didn’t even evaluate what your life looked like at the time because you were too busy.  You just felt tired, exhausted, and unfulfilled.   

This is how our dreams slip away.

Now, this website, becoming an author, and becoming a recognized authority in the field of wellness and personal development are all huge dreams of mine.  The reality is that this website is a means to reach the world, and I’ve consciously grown other opportunities that reach a similar goal.  In other words, I’ve been deliberate and conscious about my actions, choices and decisions.  And now I am deliberately recommitting to this blog.

Thank you all for your patience and support while I’ve taken this sabbatical to develop other life opportunities.  I look forward to your comments and feedback on future blog posts. 

Be Well

Related Articles:

• The Six Components of Whole Person Wellness

Written by Doug Nau, The Wellness Coach, i-grow.net

Earlier this week I was asked to share my thoughts on the question “Are you optimistic/hopeful for the progression of the wellness movement/wellness coaching?” by a graduate student working on his thesis.  As I began crafting a response, I thought more and more about how rich of a question this is. 

Firstly, I love that there is recognition of a ‘wellness movement’.  Similar to the environmental movement we are all well aware of now, we are at a time where an industry of wellness (not fitness, but wellness) professionals is beginning to evolve.  I am of the opinion that we are in the infancy stages of this movement, and as a whole the efforts that have been made to date have been fragmented and disjointed.  For example, we’ve got life coaches, personal trainers, yoga instructors, nutritionists, career counselors, psychologists, and financial advisors in this industry to name a few.  Each of these people play a role in your whole person wellness, though each tends to work in a non-integrated silo so to speak that ignores what the other may be doing.  The future wellness professional is an expert that recognizes the interrelationship of all of these aspects of one’s life and see’s how the proper balance produces not only the longest life span, but also the highest possible quality of life. 

Are you optimistic/hopeful for the progression of the wellness movement?

Now to answer the question.  The reality is that there is no other option than to be optimistic about the progression of the wellness movement.  As a country and globally, the health of humanity is at risk.  The next generation of Americans is the first with a lifespan anticipated to be shorter than the previous generation.  Its not just our physical health, but we’re seeing a deterioration in our mental health.  We far too often pop pills to deal with depression rather than facing the event head on (ie: the loss of a parent), and we numb our senses to what it is like to be human.  In the meantime, we drag out the process of healing, we expend a financial burden on society, and we deal with side effects of an over medicated population.  Can we really continue like this?  I’ve believe that our government (even with all its bureaucracy), has the right incentives now to start legislation to support this movement. 

But it cant start there, it needs to start with the individual.  No one else’s money will change someone else’s lifestyle, but appropriate leadership and mentoring can support them in making the right decisions for themselves.

With certainty, there will be populations that embrace the concepts of whole person wellness with greater enthusiasm than others.  And at this time I am optimistic because of the sheer volume of emails I receive every week by those reading this blog.  These are all promising indicators of a budding industry. 

Are you optimistic/hopeful for the progression of the wellness coaching?

Here’s the second part of the question.  Where does wellness coaching fit in with this all?  This is more challenging to answer.  I believe that wellness coaching is one of many opportunities out there to support the wellness movement.  We’ve absolutely seen a growth in the awareness of this field and the number of jobs available, and I do expect this to continue.  Will it hit the mainstream such as psychotherapy/counseling?  I have doubts here, but I do believe the industry will continue to grow and that those committed to this line of work will have an impact on society and shape what wellness looks like in the 21st century. 

My hesitation in this response is related to the framework under which I place wellness coaching.  I see wellness coaching as one on one interactions with clients supporting them in establishing the wellness vision, the creation of goals, developing action plans, and finding inner motivation to take action.  While I believe this field will continue to grow, I see that happening mostly in a business setting where employers are looking to reduce healthcare costs.  Unfortunately, its expensive to start (and reports are coming out all the time now demonstrating ROI).  Some individuals may opt to hire a personal wellness coach, and while I’d like to believe many would choose to pay for this, I have a tough time seeing this fit in the mainstream and really proliferate (and I truly hope that my vision is limited). 

What jobs in wellness will grow?

I do believe the wellness movement has much room to grow in the following areas:

• seminar & workshop leaders
• keynote speakers
• health educators/teachers (perhaps even at the elementary school level)
• corporate wellness consultants
• wellness program managers

If I were to outline the plan to revamp our nation’s health status it would look like the following

1. Bring wellness education into our schooling systems at a young age.  The concepts discussed in the six components of whole person wellness should be understood by second graders.  The principles are quite simple and very powerful.
2. Incentives for corporations to have health promotion programs.  Insurers, the government etc, should incentivize corporations to have effective wellness programs in place.  Healthy companies will also get the HR exposure and goodwill that such programs create
3. Strong leadership to instill personal ownership.  Everyone is ultimately responsible for their own decisions and more regulation/legislation is not the answer.  A commitment, a media presence and a demonstration of what whole person wellness is, needs to come from our leaders within the household, the community, our businesses and government.  While leaders do not change an individual, they do provide inspiration.  Our society is searching for ‘good news’ and this is just the news that needs to be socially present and available to everyone.
4. Healthy lifestyle incentives for individuals.  Need insurance, if you are healthy get it cheaper.  This is powerful because it integrates financial and physical wellness.  The more aspects of wellness we can connect to the more likely it is to work.

As a whole, I am excited and inspired about the changes we’re seeing in the wellness industry.  Its a field that is rich with opportunity that has unfortunately become inundated by miracle diets, drinks that cure every disease, and 5 minute per day exercise programs that give you a six pack.  For those looking to make a legitimate career in this field now is the time to take action and become a leader in an industry still finding its direction.

Be Well

Related Articles:

• The Six Components of Whole Person Wellness
• Edington’s Zero Trends – What Does this Mean for Wellness Coaching
• How Much Does a Wellness Coach Make? How much does one Cost?
• Is Wellness Coaching Compatible with Life Coaching?
• The Who, What, When, Where and How’s of Wellness Coaching
• Why to Hire a Wellness Coach
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Written by Doug Nau, The Wellness Coach, i-grow.net

Have you ever wondered what the path was to becoming truly prosperous?  Many people fail because they develop the path before determining the goal.  They assume prosperity means achieving a state of financial wealth yet the boundaries around what it means to attain financial wealth are seldom defined.  So what does it truly mean to become prosperous?

Prosperity is defined as - “a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition”.  Again, these are all exciting states to achieve, but given the level of personal interpretation that can be assigned to each of these qualities, the truth of the matter is that you must decide what becoming prosperous means to you.  Again, if you lack clarity here, you are failing to even get in the game.  Here’s several simple steps to becoming prosperous in any aspect of your life (health, career, relationships. personal growth, finance, enjoyment).

1. Become Clear – craft a vision, set goals, write down what it is you want.  People struggle here because they are unsure what they want.  If you feel like this, don’t take life so seriously, enjoy the process, and pick an outcome you really think you’d like.  Also, this might be a chance to have a heart to heart with yourself and make sure your not talking yourself out of your goals because you are afraid of failing.  Taking action towards what you want is not always easy, but the alternative is a life which is unfulfilling.  You tell me which what’s really the easy path.
2. Devote Yourself – if you really want to be prosperous, devote yourself to becoming so.  Want to get healthy, then what are you doing watching football games and eating chicken wings.  Want to make more money, then go beyond expectation at your work.  Want a better relationship?  Then stop squabbling with your wife about who did the dishes last night.  Really, in the grand scheme of a life together, how big of a deal is that?  All these suggestions point to a simple truth.  Wanting something is not enough.  You must devote your thoughts and your action towards accomplishing your goals in order to become prosperous.  Sound too big?  Then you are learning something about what you really want, not what you say you want.
3. Be Prepared for Failure – Every prosperous person learns from their mistakes.  No self made millionaire made all the right moves the first time around.  The person that bounces back up after failing repeatedly, is the person destined to win.  Can you see it?  How could you fail if you ‘always’ try again.  Failure is a part of life and if you can’t handle failure, then you can’t handle prosperity. 
4. Take as long as it takes – How long will it take to accomplish your goal?  Want to run a marathon and you’ve never run?  It should take 6 months to train to this level.  What if it took you 10 times this long?  Could you persist for 6 years?  I am here telling you now that you’ve got to be willing to stay with your goals for the long run.  Its far too easy to try then give up.  Try should not be in your vocabulary.  When it comes to developing personal prosperity, why would anyone ‘try’.  You create – right? (after all, what’s the alternative – mediocrity?)
5. Become Clear: Again – Time goes on and life changes.  Your goals will change.  Your priorities will change.  Your definition of prosperity will change.  If you are operating with outdated goals, that’s as good as having no goals.  Make it a regular practice (at least annually) to evaluate your goals and re-define these for yourself.  Hold onto those that have the most meaning for you.  Be true to yourself.  Family pressures, unexpected commitments, and any surprising life event can change your priorities.  There’s no point in beating yourself up over goals you’ve been less than committed to, and by the same token, if the goal really has meaning, you’ll be excited to refocus towards its attainment.  Never give up on what really has meaning for you.

Your Current Situation is Who You Are

I’ve heard it over and over, and never quite got it the way I get it now. I assume you might have the same perplexed/unappreciative look on your face that I had when I first heard this.  Your current situation is an exact result of your life decisions.  No, your situation has nothing to do with your upbringing, your parents, your schooling system, your lack of opportunity.  Your current situation is a reflection of you. 

If you don’t like your current situation, that can be a tough statement to swallow.  If so, the reality is that it is time to take ownership of your life.  Don’t fight against it, see the truth in what’s written above.  You’ve made decisions that have led to outcomes that have culminated in the result of your current situation.  Sure, its easier to blame others, luck, or the economy, but its more productive to learn and grow from what has happened.  You choose, be a victim or a victor.

To become prosperous, you must own all of who you are.  Whatever’s happened up until now will only limit you if you allow it to do so.  You have absolute control over the decisions you make starting this moment and the strategies listed above guarantee prosperity – if you choose to believe it. 

Prosperity is a state of mind.  Its becoming successful, it is to flourish, and it is to thrive in this moment.  I often wonder what separates me from someone in a state of ‘poor health’ when they sit with me in a room.  The reality is that their experience is nearly identical to mine in that moment.  And our only real difference is my commitment to the thought that I’ve got which has me running 4 miles later that day (and 5 more days this week).  If they had that same thought, they would share in my prosperity when it came to health.  Likewise, were I truly committed to becoming a public speaker and sharing levels of success with the likes of Wayne Dyer, I’d be taking action to become a world class speaker.  Though I may tell myself that I’d like to do that, my actions to date tell me that this is not truly a goal of mine.  I must own that reality.

Prosperity starts now

Are you waiting to become prosperous?  Is life too overwhelming right now to take on another project?  Do you feel like things are spiraling out of control and don’t see a way to start?  If so, you’ll need to give yourself a good slap in the face and assess your priorities.  For those of you that feel like ‘getting by’ is the priority, then you’ll get that.  You’ll get by with your career, with your finances, with your health, and you’ll never excel in any of the areas you wish to become prosperous in.  Waiting till you finish the next project, for the new year, for the kids to grow up, till you get the next job, till you retire?  How’s that worked out for you so far?  Now is the only moment you’ll ever have.

The truth is that your life is way too important to wait one second.  Prosperity can be had this very moment.  More than anything, prosperity is a decision.  A thought pattern that has you acting in a coherent way that is aligned with your goals.  Its not the achievement of the goals, rather the path towards its achievement which defines prosperity.  Make the decision to live prosperous and see the shift this moment.

Be Well

Related Articles:

• The Six Components of Whole Person Wellness
• How to Write a Vision Statement
• 10 Steps to Success - Step 3 Develop a Vision
• Developing the Vision
• 10 Steps to Success - Step 4 Set Goals
• 10 Steps to Success
• Developing Lifestyle Change Goals

Written by Doug Nau, The Wellness Coach, i-grow.net

The Intellect

What makes us unique as human beings is our incredible capacity to think.  Our ability to analyze, prioritize, imagine, dream, compute, predict and interpret is truly amazing.  The modern world values these qualities and those that can use this intellectual capacity to solve the problems our society collectively face are rewarded with high paying jobs, acknowledgment and praise.  Those with a less attuned ability to think in terms of what the business world demands are often punished with respect to their opportunity and pay grade.  So, the goal should be to raise our intellectual capacity – right?

Problems with Intellect (Monkey Mind)

When taken to the extreme there’s real danger in ‘over-thinking’.  You’ve likely heard of analysis paralysis (a situation in which someone freezes instead of making a decision because they are over-analyzing the item at hand), this scenario is just the tip of the iceberg.  Many people listen so closely with their thoughts that they literally talk themselves out of taking any action of meaning and value.

Our amazing ability to analyze, imagine, dream, interpret, etc. turns into a personal demon that second guesses every inclination that we have.  We ask why did this happen, how could that happen, what will happen if, and think I just couldn’t, I shouldn’t, what would mom say about this, and the list goes on and on.  The conversation we entertain in our heads stops us from meeting the love of our lives, from becoming physically fit and healthy, from excelling at the work we do, and even recognizing our strengths.  We become a prisoner to these thoughts. 

Living Experientially 

Consider that what’s written above is not black or white.  What I mean by this is that on the spectrum of using our intellect properly to improperly, we sometimes use it wisely, and sometimes we don’t.  Seldom does one only have self defeating thoughts, and seldom does someone always use their intellect in the most useful way possible.  That’s not to say that using our intellect does not have its dangers.  The biggest issue that arises when engaging our intellect is that we’ve come to rely on this part of ourselves far too often.  We give more value to our capability to discern than other truths about who we are.  In doing so have lost the capacity to live life experientially.  What do I mean by this?

Look at a child.  How do they approach the world.  They jump into the ocean to play, they pick up the bugs in the yard, they socialize with new children as if they were best of friends.  In a nutshell, they don’t overthink the world, they experience it.  When we get so caught up in our thoughts and our intellect, we run the risk of drowning out the opportunity for experience in our every day lives.  Often, even when we do experience new things, our minds are running so fast that we hardly take the time to enjoy it. 

Sometimes we think that we’ll postpone our enjoyment/experience to a day in the future – perhaps next week, or over the holidays, maybe at your birthday, when your kids graduate, when you get the promotion, or when you retire.  I’ve got news for you, if you don’t train your mind to know how to experience life right now, you won’t know how to do it when retirement comes.  Every day you think the same way, you reinforce the neurosynaptic pathways that thought travels through in your brain.  These literally create a thought pattern of least resistance within your brain.  In turn, when you do retire, you’ll just look for the next milestone that represents your opportunity to live.  While its not unsurmountable, it makes change more challenging if you don’t start now.

Self Inquiry

What does this have to do with you?  Take a look for yourself.  Are you enjoying the moment while properly using your intellect to plan effectively for the future?  Are you able to turn off and simply be?  Are you doing what you need to do to support your health and well being?  Are you living a fulfilling life?  If the answers to these questions are not what you’d like them to be, turn off the part of your intellect that wants to wallow in the moment.  Use the part that creates a positive plan to move forward.  And notice just how good you feel in the now as you take action.  Bottom line, creating an exciting plan and executing it feels great not only in the future, but in the now.  You can be the goal before the attainment of the goal.  This is the key to mastering the relationship of experience and intellect.

Be Well

Related Articles:

• Conquering Monkey Mind
• Living in the Moment - The Moment is Now
• Letting Go of the Ego
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Background

David Bach, speaker and financial advisor is the author of The Automatic Millionaire and a series of Finish Rich books including Start Late, Finish Rich: A No-Fail Plan for Achieving Financial Freedom at Any Age.  The book, published in 2007, is 368 pages and is available in both paper and audio versions.   

Book Review & Commentary

Your first thought may be why does a personal growth and development website have a book review on finishing rich.  Dig a bit deeper and you’ll see that personal growth is all about finishing rich, and living rich during the process (financially or otherwise).  David Bach actually does a good job wrapping up this book by acknowledging that these concepts are not just about the mechanics of how to get rich, but also about enjoying yourself and being rich during the process.  Financial growth is a huge aspect of personal growth, of personal wellness, and contributes enormously to the attainment of your goals.  Those that live a life of ‘lack’ financially are likely to be lacking in other areas of their life as well. 

That being said, Start Late, Finish Rich is a life coaching and financial coaching how to guide which shows you the ways to retire rich no matter what your age is and your current income level.  Personally, I am not a financial advisor, though I do have a strong education in the field, and approach my personal finances with diligence, curiosity and understanding.  I am also a numbers guy – but you don’t need to be to become financially knowledgeable.  If you feel that you are not a numbers person, you are not educated on the topics of compound interest, and you struggle to see where all your money goes, then this book is an excellent starting point.  David Bach in Start Late, Finish Rich introduces a number of strategies for saving more and building your nest egg.  In a way he makes you face what you’ll need to do to retire rich whether you are 35 or 55, whether you are in debt or a homeowner.  Be warned, you may or may not like what you hear.

The strategies in this book are no secret and are not spectacular.  He does not promise anyone that they will get rich overnight (though he does embellish the book with a few exceptional stories).  The concepts he touches on are tax deferred retirement accounts, paying yourself first, owning your home, compound interest, the latté factor (spending less), and being generous with one’s own time and money – a quality that most extremely wealthy people share.

I agree with David that most people get stuck in their own frustrations about finances, and even though books and guidelines like this exist spelling out precisely how someone can change their situation, the seemingly impossible task of it all prevents them from taking action.  His point, anyone can finish rich – if you start now!  You must start now.

Is this ringing a bell?  Does the struggle with finances resonate with you?  If it does, you are part of the majority.  The real question is if you are content with the struggle, or if you are determined to take action – even drastic action to change your circumstance.  The mechanics are laid out for you in this book, the decision however is up to you. 

Although none of the concepts in this book were new to me, I am committed to my financial future and I really enjoy reviewing such material – even if its all simply review.  Being conscious to the topic and the principles offers an opportunity to re-evaluate contribution strategies to 401k plans, to think about real estate investment, and to be leary of where one is leaking money.  Its far too easy to fall to sleep here.  The question is where is your focus.  And what goals are you focused towards.  Become curious rather than frustrated and your situation will shift.

While none of the strategies written in the book are foolproof (ie: in California we’ve been hit with a huge real estate market decline, economic recession and have been affected by the decline in global securities), they do offer sound long term principles that have a high likelihood of working if your risk tolerance is great enough.  If you think the strategies are too risky, what’s the risk of doing nothing? 

As evidenced by the examples the author provides, clearly the book was written before the recession hit the economy, as a reader you’ve got the option to choose whether to poo-poo the principles because of these events, or embrace the opportunity that the recession brings (ie: 5% 30 year mortgage rates and lowered housing costs).  I choose to seek out the opportunity.

Who is this book for?

Struggling to get on top of your financial future?  Are you a complete newbie to managing your finances?  Are you worrying about your lack of retirement savings at 30, 40 or even 50 years old.  If you are not intricately familiar with compound interest, real estate investing, tax deferred retirement accounts, ways to increase pay or cut expenses, then this book is a great starting point.  If you’re like me and just like to stay aware of minor tweaks that you can make, then you’ll also enjoy this review of these principles.

• Buy the Book Here:  Start Late, Finish Rich: A No-Fail Plan for Achieving Financial Freedom at Any Age (Paperback)
• Buy the Audio Book Here: Start Late, Finish Rich: A No-Fail Plan for Achieving Financial Freedom at Any Age (Audio Book)

Be Well

Related Articles:

• The Six Components of Whole Person Wellness
• Whole Person Wellness Part 5 – Finance
• Use Visualization to Get Healthy, Get a Promotion, Balance Life and Make Money!
• Models for Making Money - Passive Income (Part 1)
• Book Review - The Science of Getting Rich
• "Do as I do" Copy Someone for Success!
• Creating Unparalleled Success

It’s inspiring to be part of an event that celebrates those businesses and individuals that are taking the initiative to tackle the nation’s healthcare issues head on without waiting for government to take the lead.  The only way I believe that the United States can reach the goal of preventing healthcare costs from bankrupting our economy is by empowering individuals to take charge of their lives to prevent expensive procedures from becoming the norm.  This event, put on by the California Taskforce for Youth and Workplace Wellness, was truly a celebration of the trailblazing businesses that are leading the way.  If you work for an organization with operations in California that is implementing a corporate wellness program, I’d highly encourage you to consider applying for the California Fit Business Award. 

In my previous life as an software manager and implementations specialist with an environmental software firm, I had the opportunity to work with a similar group of cutting edge corporations that were voluntarily setting emission caps for their organizations.  Without any significant governmental regulation, social consciousness was growing, and I saw more and more companies begin implementing, or at a minimum, begin considering ways in that they could offer more environmental friendly operations.  Now, nearly a decade later, we are seeing the same movement with preventative health.  Companies of all sizes are beginning to implement vastly varied programs to keep their employees healthy, productive, and happy.  Its one of the few win/win situations that any employer can benefit from.  I’ve spoken with businesses with seven employees that offer health club benefits to employees so long as they go 6 times per month, and worked with a 40,000 employee company with complex and highly incentivized programs that are directed towards creating positive behavior change.

My question for you – if you are not already implementing wellness programs within your organization, what is stopping you?  Maybe you are not a leader within the organization – who cares?  Individuals make the impact, encouraging co-workers to train for running events, calling up Weight Watchers to hold a lunchtime series, even ordering salads instead of pizza for lunch.  There’s no excuse.

I recognize that few are as passionate as about this topic as I am.  But the comments I get from this blog and through the acquaintances that I make, have me convinced that many people share my concern, many are poised for action, and we are on the verge of a wellness revolution.  We’re seeing where we’re headed and its not pretty.  Its not pretty on a societal level, and its not pretty on a personal level.  And there are opportunities.  Beautiful ones that not only improve health, but also improve quality of life, happiness, and true whole person wellness.  We’ll need to accomplish this starting with ourselves then spreading the message to our community.  I encourage you to get involved to any capacity, and the workplace is an ideal location to start the revolution.

Congratulations to all of the winners of the California Fit Business Award, its awesome to be part of the role models that will design the path towards our future’s wellness model.

Be Well

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There is a fine line between influence and manipulation.  When you manipulate someone you are getting them to do or think the way you want them to for your benefit and often to their detriment.  Influence, on the other hand, is the gentle persuasion which supports another in seeing and acting in ways they feel comfortable with and are proud to take ownership of.  Here’s a real world example.

A real estate agent can manipulate a client by selling them a home that they know will not be a long term fit.  The agent in turn gets a check and in several years, a disappointed client.   On the other hand, the real estate agent that my wife and I worked with 6 years ago when we purchased our home, did have influence over our decision and definitely steered us in a direction she felt was best in purchasing our first home.  Her influence came from a place of understanding our needs, our desire for a family, and a knowledge of the changes planned in the area that we were purchasing in.  Our home has turned out to be an amazing fit – we love it and without her influence we would have never even stopped to look at the home. 

What I’ve described above is the power of influence.  Its something each of us innately has in every relationship.  But be warned, when influence verges on manipulation, it becomes hazardous.  So what are the keys to influencing others and gaining their respect in the process?

Key #1 – Knowing what others want

If you’d like to influence someone, a great starting point is to learn what it is that they want.  Often we assume we know what someone wants.  When we do this we can either be dead wrong or we may be leaving out a large piece of the puzzle.  So, before giving someone your pitch, open the lines of communication, learn what it is they want and offer a proposal that is in alignment with what you know is true – not what you thought was true.  Even if they do not agree with your intended outcome, this approach will make the proposal that much more palatable.

Key #2 – Letting others see it for themselves

Life coaches are trained in being masterful at letting others find answers for themselves.  When presenting your proposal, rather than forcing your ideas, present them and pay attention to how your counterpart reacts.  Is there uncertainty, is there frustration, is there agreement?  These are all keys as to how to communicate.  Uncertainty warrants explanation (and be careful now to be ‘selling’ your pitch too much at this point).  Frustration requires compassion and a desire to seek understanding.  Agreement lets you move right to the conversation about action. 

The key is that rather than looking to convince someone that your viewpoint is right and that they should act the way you want them to act, your approach should be a conversation which supports someone seeing for themselves that your proposal is a good idea.  So what questions can you ask that might open the space for a frustrated or uncertain counterpart to see some potential and opportunity?  They don’t want your reasons why this is a good idea, they want to find their own reasons.  Make helping them do this on their own your priority. 

Key #3 – The power of diagnosis

Interesting psychological studies have been performed on groups which indicate that people typically act in accordance with expectations.  An interesting study in the military demonstrated that those randomly labeled as ‘high performers, average performers, and low performers’ to their superiors mysteriously conformed to these expectations in measures as real as written test scores.  What happened?  The superior officers had higher expectations, they unconsciously treated the high performers with greater integrity, and more opportunity.  As a result, the soldiers in no obsolete way became the expected role.

How does this apply to influence?  Our perception of others has a tremendous influence on how they actually are!  If we expect someone to be agreeable, open and excited, then it is likely that they will be.  If we expect an opposite reaction, then so be it.  Ever heard of the ‘Law of Attraction’? 

This lesson goes well beyond just setting expectations, it suggests that acknowledging others for strengths and pointing out qualities that you feel they have can be extremely influential.  Who doesn’t like to hear from their boss that they are a tremendous asset from the team and they are the right person to lead a new project?  Even if the project isn’t one that is the most exciting one for that person, this sort of acknowledgement can set the stage for happily accepting the task (particularly if the acknowledgement is well founded).

Key #4 – Letting Go

In order to be successful with the first three keys to influencing others you must absolutely be willing to let go.  If under the surface you are firm in your beliefs and you must have things a certain way, then its much more likely that your attempt at influencing will be perceived as or turn into manipulation.  If you want to be successful influencing others, you must truly have their best interests in mind.  When you’ve lost touch with this key element, you can in no way persuade effectively.  You’ve become rigid and inflexible.  While you may not want to let go of your ideas, once you become willing you’ll have greater success. 

Is it Ethical for a Coach to Influence Clients?

What a rich question.  Keep in mind, we all influence others in every interaction.  Whether we influence them to smile back at us because we smile at them, or we influence them to buy a house, this is all influence.  A coach is always influencing a client.  Influencing them to challenge unproductive ways of thinking, influencing them to see and form bigger picture goals, influencing them to be open to greater possibilities.  Yes, a coach influences clients, its impossible not to. 

The real question is whether or not it is ethical to manipulate a client into creating goals which are not their own.  Of course, the answer is no.  Once you’ve found the goal which speaks to their heart, a coach may influence the client towards a path that can help them attain that goal.  While the client may kick and scream along the way, deep inside they appreciate and respect you for your influence.  This is what our real estate agent did with us, and this is what you’ll need to do to influence others and the world in a congruent and positive way.

Be Well

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What are Sunken Costs and the principle of Loss Aversion?

A number of years ago when I was in my first year of business school, I was introduced to the concept of ‘sunken costs’.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it refers to money that is gone, and is essentially unrecoverable.  For example, in the business world, if you’ve put thousands of dollars into a marketing campaign that is falling flat on its face and it looks like there will be no turning it around, those thousands of dollars are sunken costs.  Money that has already been spent and wont be returned. 

Why is the discussion of sunken costs pertinent to a personal growth and development website?  The interesting thing about sunken costs is our natural human tendency to act absolutely irrationally when sunken costs have been incurred.  Take for example the scenario described above.  Most individuals having dumped thousands of dollars into a failing campaign will opt to continue spending money if it were part of the original plan.  They may even suggest more funding!  They will pour money into the losing effort such that they can regain their ‘sunken costs’.  Its like the gambler playing blackjack for fifteen more minutes to recover what he lost in the last hour.  Of course, in the process they dig themselves deeper into a hole.  Not wanting to lose, they fight to make the marketing campaign work, even though they are now seeing the flaws in their initial strategy and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.  By now so much has been invested that its nearly impossible to give up.  Their reputation, their future, their name is at stake.  You get the idea.  Some claim that this is what happened in Viet Nam and is what is currently happening in the middle east.  When you are so invested, it becomes hard to pull out.

In a negotiations course I was involved with, or instructor taught us some interesting tidbits about human psychology.  People that had possession of an item gave it a much higher value than if it were owned by someone else.  In experiments, people were given a low value item for free (such as a coffee mug) such that they were the owners.  They were asked what they felt was a fair price to sell it at.  Others who were not given the item were asked how much they would pay for it.  By the gap in perception, you’d think that they were not talking about the same product at all.  The point – we feel stronger about losing something that we own than we do about gaining that product or status!  In essence, human beings are ‘loss averse’. 

It is easy to see the tie in with loss aversion and sunken costs.  Our psychology tells us not to let go while rational behavior would have us cut our losses before they grow higher and higher.  We take risks we normally wouldn’t take when losses have already been incurred.  This same issue arises with the investor that waits for a stock to rebound to a certain price before they sell it off.  They lose more and more money waiting for the rebound that never occurs. 

How does knowing this help you grow?

When I first learned about these principles, it was nothing profound or unbelievable to me – it actually made quite good sense.  Even though it didn’t provide an ‘aha’ moment, it did open my eyes a little wider to examining my own behaviors.  Having a name for something that I thought seldom about before did something to bring this concept into my awareness and I hope it does the same for you.  Businesses often have an objective party outside of a project review the results because someone entrenched in the work has an inherent bias to support the work they are doing whether or not it is really working.  But we’re not talking about businesses here, we’re talking about your life.  Asking yourself the following questions can support you in dropping a failing project, business endeavor, or even relationship before it drops you.

• In what areas of my life have I invested a lot of time, energy, money and I have seen very little results to date?
• What is the outcome I am looking to achieve by spending more time, energy, and money in this area?
• If I were to be 100% truthful with myself, what are the odds that the intended outcome could come true?
• If I were to ask someone that knew my situation, what would they say the odds were of my desires coming true?
• If there were no emotion invested in the situation, what would the logical path forward be?
• What fears do I have about letting go?
• What, if anything, have I been lying to myself about?
• What would be the consequence if I got out right now?  What would I gain?  What would I be giving up?

All these questions are matters of consciousness.  Because of our human nature it is far too easy to pursue, pursue, and pursue without taking the time to step back and be conscious of the choices we can make at any step in the process.  While I am not a fan of ‘giving up’, there comes a time in business, finances and even love, when cutting off may bring about the best result.  But by now, you know that is hard to do and it takes courage to move on.

Ask yourself regularly how being loss averse is affecting your decisions, and if there are any sunken costs that continue to dig you deeper into debt (financial, physical, emotional or spiritual!).

Be Well

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Background

Rom and Ori Brafman are co-authors of Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior.  Rom, a Ph.D. and psychologist has teamed with his brother Ori, an entrepreneur and author (previously published The Starfish and the Spider), to write this 224 page book published in June 2008.  This is their first published book as a team and it is available in both paper and audio formats. 

Book Review & Commentary

Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior is not written as part of the Self Help genre.  It is well written book filled with examples demonstrating different ways in which people are ‘swayed’ into irrational behavior.  While no action is suggested for readers as to how they may change their ways, it provides a compelling opportunity to reflect on one’s own life to see how they are being swayed at this moment in time. 

To give a little background, the authors premise the book on the assumption that humans are rational beings, and that we make decisions that are ideal for maximizing personal or social return.  The examples provided throughout the book demonstrate that our choices in many circumstances in no way reflect that assumption.  While intuitively we know that we are not always rational, this book does a fantastic job of demonstrating the extent to which we can be completely irrational in any given situation.  For example the book answers the questions, why would a college student pay over $200 for a $20 bill?  Why would a model airline pilot take off without clearance causing a deadly accident?  And why would a random label assigned to a soldiers skill set markedly predict their outcome on aptitude tests? 

The short answer the authors provide is that people in each of these situations been swayed by irrational forces.  Those are forces such as loss aversion, a diagnostic sway, value attribution, and group conformity.  Its not to say that these people are unintelligent – quite the opposite.  They were just lured by a powerful and compelling force which when caught in the traps of such a quandary, even those in highest regard (ie: they talk about the forces swaying the U.S. President), can be compelled into irrational behavior like staying in Vietnam long past any reasonable withdrawal date. 

As I mentioned, this book is not written as a self help book, and the logical question is how could I use the knowledge presented within these pages to help me grow as a person.  That answer is not provided, but the foundation of thought that can support you in finding this for yourself is well in place.  I found this book to be an exciting read, filled with interesting stories that held me to the pages, and its got me thinking about real life and business decisions that could be approached differently based on people’s natural ‘sway’s’.  

The conclusions in the book are not based on scientific evidence.  They are simply interpretations of the stories and the proof is in the redundancies found in the examples provided.  So don’t expect this to be a ‘factual’ book where the ideas have been accepted by the mainstream public.  Look inside yourself, however, when you read this book. Ask yourself if the ideas resonate – could I see myself making the same irrational decisions, and even more importantly, am I doing any of these now?  When you dig into the book with such an approach you’ll be priming yourself for growth and creating an opportunity for change.  Without such a nudge, you may be moving blindly along, unaware of the sways being placed upon you by our innate nature as human beings and the forces of outside world.

Who is this book for?

Any personal growth enthusiast will find this book a very interesting read.  Anyone interested in psychology will also find this book insightful as well.  If you feel like you have not been in control of your own life and that you are subject to the whims of others or your inherent nature, this book may also help you better understand why you may behave the way you do in certain situations.  That understanding can be the foundation for change.

• Buy the Book Here:  Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior (Paperback)
• Buy the Audio Book Here: Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior (Audio Book)

Be Well

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